Cherie Jordan has used her experience of domestic abuse as the foundation to become a Life Coach. She uses her first-hand understanding of the pain and turmoil of the situation to help her clients through their own crisis in order to find themselves again. Cherie writes her #BraveMe story for us:
When I married my husband in August of 2000, it never occurred to me that in December 2009 I would be calling 911 to save my life from his clutches. Growing up in the Southern Sector of the United States, I was always raised to work it out no matter what. In my case, this wasn’t exactly a great idea. Looking hindsight, I guess you can say there were red, enormous flags. Accusing me of infidelity, calling me names and insulting my character, just to name a few. But he had never hit me so I stuck it out. To a fault you can say. The verbal abuse and control progressively got worse each year for 10 years, but he still wasn’t hitting me. So in my mind, I wasn’t in an abusive relationship. I made excuses like he was stressed at work or his declining health was bothering him.
The verbal abuse and control progressively got worse each year for 10 years, but he still wasn’t hitting me. So in my mind, I wasn’t in an abusive relationship.
The light bulb came on for me one day when my young son witnessed how his father addressed me. Several thoughts ran across my mind about my son’s future growing into manhood. I didn’t want my son to think this was the norm on how a man treats a woman. Not just a woman, but his wife. So after some soul-searching, I coincidentally found out my husband was being unfaithful on top of abusing me. I quickly and discreetly made a decision to get a divorce. Discreetly meaning I didn’t announce it to him and others in the family about my plans. I just gained the evidence I needed to present in court. It was business as usual as far as he was concerned. Then one night in an effort to leave the house, he tried to start an argument with me, but I didn’t give in to the request. This outraged him and the day I will never forget in December 2009 changed my world forever when the man I loved actually put his hands on me in an effort to take my life.
The shock of the ordeal made me numb for several months. As expected, I fell into depression and had suicidal thoughts because I felt like everything was my fault. Maybe I could’ve done something different to keep this from happening. After years of praying and being active in my church, it’s like a veil was lifted from my face and I could see clearly again. I figured out it wasn’t my fault at all. My ex-husband had some unresolved issues in his past that had nothing to do with me. I just happened to be in his vicious wrath and became his punching bag, literally.
Learning to love myself has been the hardest accomplishment, but the most gratifying thing I have ever done for myself. I know how much I am worth and I don’t take it lightly.
It took years to reprogram the way I thought about myself. I never thought anyone would want me because of the demeaning comments engrained in my mind by my abuser. Learning to love myself has been the hardest accomplishment, but the most gratifying thing I have ever done for myself. I know how much I am worth and I don’t take it lightly.
In an effort to give back to my community, I eventually signed up to volunteer at a local domestic violence shelter. Unfortunately, I never got a chance to volunteer my time, but I still felt like something was missing. Once again, I took time to pray about my next venture to give back. So I decided to write my story as a fictional novel, Words Will Never Hurt Me. The title is very ironic. It was taken from the old nursery rhyme. Sticks and stones may break my bones. I’m sure you know the rest and know how ridiculous that sounds now that we are adults. Words do hurt. So my cause is not only about domestic violence but to bring awareness about verbal abuse. Currently, laws in the US do not protect a victim due to verbal abuse or coercive control. My abuser touched me once with his hands, but his words dug deep into my heart with every cantankerous statement. The mental health of victims is at risk because verbal abuse and control are even more damaging than in a physical situation.
Life has been great for me since I gained a sense of who I am. I hope the person reading this still in a dangerous predicament will see the light and seek out help. There is life after the abuse.
I have also acquired a Life Coach certification in an effort to guide men or women through their life after fleeing an abusive relationship. I had to work on my emotional well-being on my own, as a result, my business is empathic of the pains of my clients. It is my prayer that anyone who is blessed to escape an abusive relationship will seek help from a Life Coach, Counselor, or Therapist. I am the me I wish I had. My services are designed to bring my client back emotionally and socially. Life has been great for me since I gained a sense of who I am. I hope the person reading this still in a dangerous predicament will see the light and seek out help. There is life after the abuse.
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Cherie Jordan has been an Educator for over 20 years in the Dallas area. She graduated from Grambling State University with a Bachelor’s degree in Accounting. Shortly after moving to Dallas from Louisiana, Cherie acquired her Master’s degree from Texas A&M-Commerce in Education. Her career in Education includes being a teacher and school administrator.
Her most recent achievement is becoming a Certified Professional Coach and stepping into the arena of becoming an author.
To get in touch with Cherie for book signings, speaking engagements or Coaching services, please go to her website at www.coachcheriejordan.com or email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.